lovethisworld: (She is the sunlight)
Lilith Sahl ([personal profile] lovethisworld) wrote2010-12-28 08:47 pm

RL with Zuko

 [As promised she showed up the morning of December 26th with a small box in hand. Lilith wasn't quite sure where to go. Unlike Azula, she never did make frequent trips to her friend's country. It couldn't be too hard to find the Fire Lord in the Fire Nation, right?

Lilith sincerely hoped Zuko was in a spot easily accessible to strange women who clearly did not belong here.]

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-16 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
What are your feelings regarding me?
flammatory: ((toph) field trip?)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-16 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
My f-feelings regarding-- [as he stumbles over his words, he starts to blush a little]

Why do you want to know?

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-16 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
I'm curious. [she chuckles] Will you tell me?
flammatory: ((regret) what I'll do)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-16 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
You're... you're like my uncle, [he admits, clearly uncomfortable. He trusts she won't take that too literally.] It's not the same, exactly, because he-- he followed me around the world no matter what I was doing.

But it feels similar.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-16 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
I suppose I have been lax in following you around. [She jokes.]

I understand. Thank you for indulging me.
flammatory: ((folded) Katara shut ur mouf)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-16 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't need you every second of the day, [he grumbles, folding his arms and sinking back into the cushions.] I'm not Azula.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
No, you are not. [She nods in agreement, sinking back with him.] I am happy that you are in a place in your life that you don't need someone like me to regularly help you.
flammatory: ((aang) clueless)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
It took a while. And it's not like I could never use your help.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
It's always there when you need it even if it isn't every second of the day. [a pause] I really do love you both the same way, Zuko.
flammatory: ((anger) perseverence)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
You-- [abruptly he stands up, backing away a pace of two, still facing her] Why are you saying that? That's not-- I never thought you did! Everyone always likes Azula better!

[Everyone being his father.]

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
Because I was afraid that was what you truly thought. [Lilith sighs]

Zuko, I never had the chance to tell you before that was the way I felt. I regretted it the entire time you were off the community so I thought today I could finally say it. I want you to remember that if nothing else.
flammatory: ((regret) tragic look)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
[He can't help but immediately assume she's lying. The thought had already occurred to him, the instant after she'd said it. But Lilith doesn't lie, which means it has to be true.]

...Are you telling the truth? [he finds himself asking anyway, unsure.] You don't have to pretend. I'm fine with how things are between us, I don't need-- I don't need anything else.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Lilith feels hurt knowing he thinks so little of himself that he'd assume she was lying about it immediately. She sounds nothing if not patient when she answers.]

I realize I haven't given you much reason to believe that I could love you too and for that I am truly sorry. I am not lying though and it's perfectly fine if you cannot accept my feelings. I am fine the way we are too. I was only hoping to avoid any more regret in the future.
flammatory: ((emo) woobie face)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
No, I know you don't lie. It's not your fault-- [he shakes his head, trying to get his feelings straight] I wouldn't do that to you, pretend it wasn't true.

I... [he looks even more uncertain] I can't help thinking everyone's going to act like my father, even though I know better now.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
That's understandable. I can only imagine how deep those wounds must be. I wouldn't expect you to be able to trust so easily after dealing with so much.
flammatory: ((regret) can't fight in the dark)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
I do trust you! [he says immediately, closing the space between them again.] I do. I know that you'll always do what's right, more than anyone else I've ever known. It just seems unreal to me sometimes, but I'll try, I promise.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
It's alright. I know you're trying, Zuko.
flammatory: ((neutral) THE SOLSTICE AGAINN)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 06:56 am (UTC)(link)
...And that's enough for you?

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
It is. I believe eventually you will be more at ease about this.
flammatory: ((neutral) bored k)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
How soon is eventually? [he complains, flopping back down dramatically onto the couch beside her.] I'm tired of this! It's like I can't talk to anyone without them complimenting me and me not sure if I can believe it!

You said to thank people... [drawn out sigh] I guess I'll try that.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
As long as it takes. If I had to guess in a year or so it will be easier for you to deal with if all stays this way.
flammatory: ((pissy) kind of crosseyed)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-17 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
A year. More things that'll take years.

...Thanks for putting up with me.

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
It's more than worth the trouble.
flammatory: ((awkward) head scratch)

[personal profile] flammatory 2011-01-18 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
If you say so. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?

[identity profile] hislostlover.livejournal.com 2011-01-18 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
I would like to ask you how you've been settling back into being on the community after so long.

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