Lilith Sahl (
lovethisworld) wrote2010-12-28 08:47 pm
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RL with Zuko
[As promised she showed up the morning of December 26th with a small box in hand. Lilith wasn't quite sure where to go. Unlike Azula, she never did make frequent trips to her friend's country. It couldn't be too hard to find the Fire Lord in the Fire Nation, right?
Lilith sincerely hoped Zuko was in a spot easily accessible to strange women who clearly did not belong here.]
Lilith sincerely hoped Zuko was in a spot easily accessible to strange women who clearly did not belong here.]
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[Some part of him feels like he's never going to stop paying for his mistakes.]
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Do you understand what I am saying?
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If you still want to hear the story of how I met Aang, I'll tell you. It's just not very happy.
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It's a little long. It starts with how I got my scar. [he's self-consciously taken the seat that puts his good side facing her, by habit more than anything]
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I am listening.
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My father always used to say that Azula was born lucky, and I was lucky to be born. That's how I grew up - I wanted his approval and Azula always had it. It took me a long time to grow out of that.
But I still had a conscience. I was attending a war meeting one day when a general suggested that we send the new, inexperienced soldiers to the front lines, to distract the earthbenders. [He swallows nervously just remembering the scene, and his voice grows quieter.] They would've been slaughtered, so I spoke out against it.
I was speaking out of turn in my father's war room. I didn't mean to insult him, I just-- ...He challenged me to an agni kai, a fire duel, to defend my position. I thought it would be the general I was fighting against, but it turned out to be my father.
[He takes a moment to compose himself before finally saying,] I think it's obvious what happened next. [It's enough to say it, to admit it out loud, even obliquely. Zuko can't bring himself to voice that he knelt before his father and apologized formally, and was still attacked. He'd already said to him directly on the Day of Black Sun, two and a half years ago, how inexcusable it was -- he'd come to terms with it as much as he could.]
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He told me I was banished, and not to return unless I came back with the Avatar. The Avatar hadn't been seen in a hundred years, but if he did still exist, he was a huge threat to our stability in the war. I know now that he was probably looking for an excuse to get rid of me and instate my sister as heir, but at the time I thought... it was the only way to get my honor back. For my father to care about me again.
So I went on a mission to find the Avatar. I searched the world over for three years before I found him, trapped in an iceberg in the South Pole. Well, Katara and Sokka found him, I was late to the game. [more bitterly,] I met them by attacking their village. The Fire Nation had already taken almost their entire society, and the men were all out fighting us, so all that was left was a small village of old women and children.
Aang turned out to be twelve. Or-- a hundred and twelve, but really twelve. [He shakes his head.] He tried to be friends with me a few times but I always rejected him. Eventually when I realized that the war was wrong and I had to stop it, I left the capital to convince them to let me be his firebending instructor. They didn't accept me at first.
...It's still a miracle to me that we're friends at all.
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For now she only went to address the second half.]
I believe they must have seen you were not truly evil, simply misguided. It's only natural that upon realizing that they would eventually become friends with you. You are a good friend to have Zuko.
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You're right, though. It isn't something I can have other people give me. I don't know what to do when I get these compliments.
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